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The First Step

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It’s crazy when you finally take the first step... Whether it’s filling out a job application, becoming more serious in a relationship, or even recognizing your own addiction. For me, the first step isn’t quit any of those things... I’d like to think that I am in a very great place in my life... I have a full time career that I’m doing well in, I can financially support myself, I’m moderately healthy, got myself a nice mans, crazy right? ... but just because I’ve earned all that doesn’t mean I have it all together... because I don’t... but honestly who does?? I’m far far from perfect and I’m okay with that. But sometimes when you have a lot going for yourself you get lost in the action of everyday life. I go to work, eat, sleep, occasionally hang out with some frandsss. You get comfortable in this routine and forget about the main focus... YOU.


Now I’m not a parent, I don’t have children to care for... but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot on my plate. I’ve been through it in a way others won’t understand and that’s alright. BUT what’s NOT alright is the fact that I let those feelings sit and I ignore them. Personally from experience holding in my feelings has never worked out for me. Because then one day, I will explode and let all these built up feelings out in a way that’s NOT pretty, let me tell you. Now I’m not an expert... no where near it, but it’s definitely not something I recommend.


TRUST me when I say this... it’s not easy expressing your feelings. Whether you feel them, talk about them, or even show them...

Some have said “But Lys, you love to talk.” Oh, I sure do... but not about how I seriously internally feel. I refuse to let most people see me in a way that’s not presentable.... as in happy Lys living my best life. Social media says one thing and your feelings say another. Let me tell ya a little something... y’all may think I’m over it, but till this day my past STILL bothers me. The judgement still itches me, the stubbornness towards my mother is STILL there. 


Are things better now? Yes... I’m not evil... as much as I act like a badass, I hate fighting. I’ll suck it up and take the bad end of the stick just to clear the air. But this week I decided to take MY first step... you guys wanna know what my first step is? Alright here I go... it’s kinda a big pill to sallow....


This week I registered myself for therapy... so I can let out ALL these built up feelings. So I can have an outlet. So I can let it go. So I can be best version of ME. Trust me, I love sharing with y’all what’s up in the life of Lys, but sometimes things get TOO personal to post. I want you all to know... no matter who has told me this could help, this is something I decided to do. ME, Alyssa Galan. I’ve been thinking about it for over a year now... but in the end, no matter how much advice someone can give you, it’s ultimately up to YOU, to want to better yourself. To take that first step, no matter what that step is. 


Listen, I get it...you may think the world is giving up on you, that it’s slapping ya in the face... because life definitely will. But YOU can only change YOUR life... no one else. You are driving the car, you are in control of the stirring wheel... and just know no matter what direction you decide to take, you have the CHOICE to make a turn for YOU.

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